My Prince Charming

I dun understand people. How do they judge me, huh? If u're in my friendster's friendlist, u may read those testi of mine. Most of them would say d "perfectness" of me. Umm, sorry, never meant to be one of those narcisist gurl, it's just based in d testi (ups).

It could be true, if u think it is, but it's just on the out side of me (it's relative, huh?). At first I was very proud, u know? I could do few things that others couldnt. And they praising me! God, how impressive was that?

But most of those judgements would never meant anything coz in the end it could help nothing. Does d ability to sport could affect my relationship? Umm I dont think so. Or my other abilities please, mention it.

Heyy I'm not saying that I'm not thankful for those that God gave me. Sure I am. I even think how glad I am to be who am I today. For any reason, I dun even feel any dissatisfaction at all. Mind ya, NONE AT ALL.

A friend of mine once said, "I didn't get it, why do you often get into the badluck with your boyfriends? I mean, you're kind, smart, etc. You don't even have any problems with ur attitude either. For me u're almost perfect!"

Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. "He" even said that I'm perfect. Say it again and I'm gonna blast u off. What's with perfect if I can't get what I really want?

Then in the end, I understand, why do some people said, "I love you because of you" to their lovers. They dont see them in their physical appearance or their abilities. It's because of their selves; their personalities.

I'm not looking for those who's smart, handsome, a basketball player, etc, etc. Or those who has the same hobbies and interests with me. I'm not looking for a perfect person.

I'm looking for the one who could accept me as I am and I could accept him as himself. That's what my prince charming was. Now I get it. Yes, yes.

Then I cannot blame if he doesn't feel the same way to me. Whatever my 'abilities' are, whatever you think bout me, coz it's all just about ur heart compatibility. Ask your heart then you'll know it.

I might not be the one for you and you're not my prince charming. So we've got nothing to worry about, rite? Coz I'm ready to lose you, even I love you so. Coz someday the 'right' prince will come. It's just a matter of time...

I'm sure of it. n_n

Puzzle?

Do you believe in other people? Mm. I dunno. Or.. some interesting fact about our 'anthem quotes'; "friends forever". If u ask me, just dont wanna be too confident, I'm gonna answer "yes". But is it?

Human cannot be trusted. Not at all, I can guarantee. At least it's a relative answer, I guess.

At times you might say such things, promises, etc., and in anotha time u'll never mean that. Not in purpose, of course, who on earth would do such thing (considered yourself as a loving person)?

And it was all my believe, long, long time ago. When I believe that every single human on earth is all by themselves. When u're facing every bitter of life all by urself. Okay if u have friends to rely on, then is it forever?

I kept living with that suggestion, until sumbuddy introduced me how happy to "share". What togetherness means and what life could possibly 'life' by being on each other's side...

...and what friends are for.

How great it was, a self-individualistic like me could have that thoughts.

Then I started to laid my believe on other people, and I think I was trusting them. And when I was on the top of my believes, suddenly it dissapeared, as it never come at all. Just because of a simple reason; dishonest.

It's leaving a scar that could not be heal. It could, of course, but it takes time. Maybe things couldn't be as fun as yesterday, and things couldn't be as solid as yesterday, but have we lost it?

Is there any puzzle pieces left by? I dunno. They might answer 'yes', but can we still fix it? After every single pieces we've been built for has been forgotten just because of one single feelings in the wrong moment?

Sorry doesn't needed at all, coz wut we need is our trust back. But how?

Lost

People tend to think, the best thing in life is loving somebody and being loved in return. Is that so? For me; I wish I had nobody to love..

They don't need to love me in return coz they'll gone eventually. At least I don't have to lost anything, after all. Haha, how pathethic is dat?

If u started to think that way, then nothing is fine. Yes, none of these are FINE. And you know wut? Now I'm getting sick. Sick of being left behind. Sick of losing 'somebody' that I love.

Coz this time I lost twice. My sun and my earth.

Girl: Thousand of Meanings

I found it in my bulletin board, and its surely correct.

When a girl is quiet, millions of things are running in her mind. When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply. When a girl looks at u with eyes full of questions, she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers "i'm fine" after a few seconds, she is not fine at all. When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying. When a girl lays on your chest, she is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a girl calls you everyday, she is seeking for your attention. When a girl wants to see you everyday, she wants to be pampered. When a girl sms's u everyday, she wants you to reply at least once.

When a girl says I love you, she means it. When a girl says that she can't live without you, she has made up her mind that you are her future. When a girl says "I miss you", no one in this world can miss you more than that..